Denver - Good morning, everybody! I hope you had a good Friday night. I came across an interesting article about the DeafYoga Foundation and thought to share it with all ya’ll. As a long-time fitness freak, I have always wanted to learn yoga but seemed to have a basic problem: I am deaf and have trouble reading yoga instructors’ lips in classes, which made things awkward at times.

A few years ago, I signed-up for a yoga class at the gym I worked-out each day. The experience was interesting: I could understand and see how the principle exercises and stretches worked but I spent more time concentrating on understanding the instructor rather than my breathing. I stopped going after a couple classes and have since let my curiousness about yoga ebb and wane.

Word comes from New York that the deaf non-profit organization has partnered up with another non-profit entity, the International Sivananda Organization, to provide the first ever Yoga Teacher Training course for the deaf community. According to the press release, there is only one certified deaf yoga instructor in the United States, and in conjunction with raising awareness of yoga’s benefits within the deaf community, the partnership also aims to provide the community with an influx of deaf certified yoga instructors.

” .. deaf people haven’t really been able to freely explore the meaning of yoga prior to our organization. To date, we have served more than 1,000 deaf and signing people through our service projects, programs and the DeafYoga for Beginners DVD.” - Lila Lolling, DeafYoga Foundation

Lolling also stated that three deaf woman had applied for scholarships for the training but also added that sign language interpreter fees were a major funding issue, and requested donations to off-set interpreter expenses for the training. Click here to read more on this story

Okay .. so, we need more yoga instructors in the deaf community. And do you know what this means? This means that I need an iced chai!

HaHa!

Anyway, I have to go now - I need to mow the yards before the Squirrels that Run Up the Tree start slingshooting pine cones at me again. If you have time, check out the DeafYoga DVDs and let me know how they are, please?

Finally, and apparently, there is also a Wii game utilizing yoga, believe it or not. I guess that’s another reason to love the Wii?

Have a great Saturday!

Be good .. or be good at it.

Paotie

Hello .. Are you there, SuperStar?

Hi.

How was your week? Did you do what you wanted to do this past week? Did anybody win the lottery?! No?

Crud.

Did anybody get a haircut? Yah? Cool! A perm? Nice. Did anybody get a mohawk?! Yah? Excellent!

Hi!

Ooh!

Sorry. I forgot I already said it earlier: “leaping camels!”

Are you still here? If you are – awesome! Cool beans! You are a SuperStar!

Did anybody wish Hillary Clinton would give up her presidential campaign, already? Yah? Really? Wow! Cool! I know some of you do not want her to give up and I understand: the Nile is a river in Egypt.

Did anybody buy a new car this week? No? A truck? Yah? Really? What kind? Wow! Be safe. Did anyone buy an ocean-going cruise ship? No? Sure! Of course I’d like to go on a cruise one day – through downtown Albuquerque.

Did anybody watch Major League Baseball this past week? “Broncos suck!” Yah – I agree. Well, I don’t know what else to say about that because I don’t watch baseball.

Did anybody play with their wee Wii this week? Yah? No?! Geesh! No need to be defensive! Some of you might want to think about getting a “beverage chick” instead – much more practical. Use your imagination at your own risk.

Are you still here? You are? Wow! Fantastic! You are a SuperStar!

What are you doing this weekend? “Don’t know yet. ” Yah – me neither.

Is anybody going to play golf this weekend? Yah? Terrific! “Crotches? ” It was just a satire, sir. “Tennis?” Yes – wonderful sport. Fuzzy balls and whatnot, I get it. Nice book, by the way.

Is anybody coming back tomorrow? Yah? No? Maybe? I understand – I feel the same way. “Got things to see and people to do.” Yah? I understand. It’s cool.

Anyway, I have to go now – I need to get my haircut - but I hope you have a great and safe weekend. And maybe over the weekend, we’ll meet again here at the Green Couch.

Take care!

Hello?

Are you there, SuperStar?

Hello?

See you later, SuperStar.

Be good .. or be good at it.

Paotie

Denver - Good afternoon, everybody! I hope you had a great and safe Memorial weekend. I spent much of the weekend playing golf , eating BBQ and watched Hillary Clinton’s political campaign unfold into a "Denial of the Stubborn ." In fact, I played golf so well over the weekend that I pumped my fist sky-high into the air! And tipped my hat to adoring crowds! And then I challenged Tiger Woods’ to fisticuffs match - and he agreed!

I am not kidding you!

HaHa!

I’m just messin’ with all ya’ll. Can ya dig it? Ya’know what I’m sayin’?

Wii Golf rules!

If you do not have the Nintendo Wii game console yet, then you should think about getting one soon. We bought one recently and since then, I have been playing the Wii non-stop!

The Wii is outrageously addictive!

Well, that’s what the girls are telling me. I mean, they also say things like, "Why can’t we play the Wii? We bought the Wii! The Wii is not a wee game that we got for you to play: it’s a Wii!"

We have had the Wii for a little over a week now and I find the game great fun. I know the girls initially thought the boxing game was easy because they literally had to punch the air with both hands holding Wii handsets. After about a minute of non-stop punching of the air, the girls collapsed in exhaustion.

Ironically, the rationale the girls gave me for buying the Wii is that supposedly, having a Wii is a great way for people to exercise and play video games - simultaneously! When you play Wii baseball, for example, you will find yourself acting like a professional baseball player: you will repeatedly grab/adjust your crotch, spit tobacco juice onto the carpet of the living room, and berate a CPU for a called strike. In fact, I have discovered a term: "Wii arm ."

No, I am not talking about Deafhood Priestesses with handy occupational titles.

HaHa!

I digress.

So .. I don’t want to get into the details of Nintendo’s Wii game console and instead, will give you a few links to check out. In fact, I will post infrequently rare articles updating the Wii Experience for all ya’ll.

Aigh’t?

• Nintendo Wii - Official web site
• Wii Blogs Directory
• FT Tech Magazine - Article discusses upcoming WiiFit game release
• A Blogger’s Review - A woman with a large family’s view of the Wii. Well-written.

Also, I came across an interesting satire this morning about rising gas prices and .. vowels .

Finally, I have been tinkering around with videos to include for Paotie’s Green Couch, and found one that seemed to be pretty good - it even includes its own subtitles. It’s a musical song but that shouldn’t matter: it has subtitles!

Rod Stewartwhat A Wonderful World Music via Noolmusic.com

Be good .. or be good at it.

Paotie

Denver - Good morning, everybody! I have a quick announcement to make: I have switched my blog from Paotie.com to Paotie.tv because I got tired of typing .com! I would get finger-cramps by the time I got to “o” in Paotie.com (ouch!) (see??) - and something had to be done! I was exhausted! I was gentrified!

HaHa!

I’m just messin’ with all ya’ll. Can ya dig it, ya’know what I’m sayin’?

Anyway, there are some changes that need to be fixed but I am going to leave them alone for now. There are more changes coming to Paotie’s Green Couch and you’ll probably notice them as we go, but everything should be completed within a week.

In the meantime, I will also be introducing some components for Paotie’s Green Couch - but they will only be temporary - and if all ya’ll like something (or even not), please let me know. I was going to test a few things out during the wee hours of the morning, but my girlfriend wasn’t too keen on the idea of being woken up at 3:00 am with questions like, “Honey?! CHECK THIS OUT! LOOK! COOL, HUH?!”

So .. I figured to randomly introduce a few things to see how they work, look, function and even check the oil in my truck. And if you’re wondering why I’m making the changes now, well .. that’s a damn good question.

And it’s for me to know and for all ya’ll to find out.

HaHa!

Also, ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner! Ben Vess is the FIRST person to ever post ANYTHING on Paotie.tv! The guy is a stud! And you don’t have to take my word for it, either - his work speaks for itself.

Have a great and safe day today!

Be good .. or be good at it.

Paotie

Denver - Good afternoon, everybody! I hope your days have been going well. Scientists in Greenland have discovered a shocking secret about American Sign Language! They have discovered that if you play ASL videos in reverse, you will find supremely subliminal inseminations of Satanic Sign Language flashing through your house!

HaHa!

I’m just messin’ with all ya’ll. Can ya dig it, ya’know what I’m sayin’?

Anyway .. today, we will talk about golf. Golf is an exciting sport to play. I mean, first of all, most people tend to think of golf as simply hitting a small, dimpled and white golf ball around a golf course. And they’d be right because the whole objective is to “put it in the hole!”

Male golfers around the world engage in golfing rituals every weekend - with other men. Golf man-dates typically involve foursomes of men who consistently talk about their crotches, grab their crotches and yodel to Riverdance.

Men like this also smoke extremely large (or thick) cigars – some of them uncut and some of them not – as they travel around golf courses in golf carts with their crotches leading the way. In fact, more often than not, you will see men who smoke cigars are also the type of men who brag about how “long” they are.

“Jim, did you see how long I am?” is a common question asked by men smoking cigars on golf courses. A common reply to that question is something like, “Tim – I did not see that. But, I felt it. Yes, you are quite long.”

Pink noses (in ASL) aside, most golfers like to brag about how many times they have “put it in the hole!” Keeping score consists of estimating the number of “strokes” a golfer takes to put a golf ball into a hole that sits somewhere on a putting green surrounded by the crotches of golfers.

“Tim, how many strokes did you have on the last hole?”

“Well, Jim – I believe it was around 11 but the score was really 4.”

“Ahh, Tim! Par.”

“Jim – are you saying you’ve had better?”

Anyway, when foursomes of men play rounds of golf together, they begin drinking alcohol in the parking lot of the golf course. Bottles of beer, hard liquor and illegal immigrants are smuggled into golf courses each day – all under the watchful eyes of golf course employees.

In fact, most golf courses have hot, blond chicks who wear short shorts and have creamy and tanned legs stretching to infinity called, “beverage chicks.” On a hot, summer Sunday afternoon, there is nothing more Christian-like than a drunken middle-aged man buying more beer from a hot, blond chick as he grabs his crotch.

‘Round and ‘round, the beverage chick will drive through the golf course, selling beer to drunken orgies of golfing man-daters. Every now and then, the wind will carry a conversation between two golfers’ crotches:

“The beverage chick – would you?”

“If I wasn’t married, I would. Would you, Tim?”

“I’ve had better.”

“Ahh, Tim! Par.”

Another interesting thing about many golfers is the fact they discuss words like “shafts” and “heads” with wanton abandonment. For example, most older golfers prefer “flexible” shafts; younger golfers like their shafts to be “stiff.”

In golf, size matters and the bigger your driver is, the more talked about your crotch will become. In fact, many male golfers pretend they have a flaccid ability to hit a golf ball into the stratosphere because of an “oversized head.”

Anyway, I have to go now – the point of today’s article is that golf is a sport in which men can safely measure their crotches against one another.

I am not kidding you!

Be good .. or be good at it.

Paotie

Denver - Good afternoon, everybody! I was going to blog yesterday but was sidetracked by Squirrels that Run Up the Tree picketing my house. They are protesting because I turned off their disco party on Sunday night! Lights were flashing everywhere! Squirrels Running Up the Tree were carrying hookahs and other things and when the first topless Squirrels showed up - enough was enough!

I am not kidding you!

HaHa!

I’m just messin’ with all ya’ll. Can ya dig it, ya’know what I’m sayin’?

Anyway, I want to talk about golf today. I know many of you probably think golf is the most boring sport in the world to watch - and it is! Especially if you don’t play or are not familiar with the sport and its players.

Like snowboarding, golf is a sport based on an individual’s skills. When I snowboard, I love to test myself by pushing the limits of my abilities - I sometimes take a hard fall and at other times, I achieve what I set out to do in a specific run. Regardless, it is me and the mountain and nobody else.

Golf is a bit like that except green grass replaces snow moguls and my golf skills are challenged by a golf course’s layout and design. Instead of picking lines that I want to snowboard down a mountain, I pick angles for my golf shots and this means there’s lots of strategy involved. In golf, there is almost nothing that compares to making a shot exactly as you had envisioned.

The other thing about golf that I enjoy is the fact that I am a pretty good golfer. When I introduce myself in groups and remind the players that I am deaf, they tend to look at me as some sort of novelty - until a well-placed shot cures takes care of that.

I have often thought the fact I am deaf and a good golfer intimidates many hearing golfers. I am not at all saying that I am fearsome or anything - it’s just that it seems many players feel like they should naturally be better than a “deaf dude,” like me.

One time, I hit a shot with my driver that went well over 350 yards and people freaked out! They were shocked! They were immobilized! And then they said things like, “Wow! Deaf people must be really good at golf!”

HaHa!

The terminology for golf is simple to understand and it is my hope to inspire many people - deaf and not - to take up golf as a recreational sport. So, that means I will have to make it interesting for all ya’ll who think golf is boring.

I will do my best! And I will share some of the things I have seen and experienced on golf courses with all ya’ll.

Like the time I drove a golf cart right up to the golf hole on a prestigious golf course and was almost lynched by angry, white men! They were outraged! They were appalled!

I am not kidding you!

Anyway, I have to go now - I’m going to the driving range to work on my short irons. I hope all ya’ll have a great afternoon and evening - I’ll see you tomorrow!

Be good .. or be good at it.

Paotie

Denver - Good afternoon, everybody! I have received word that UFC.com has published an article featuring Matt Hamill responding to the deaf community’s so-called controversy regarding his film. Hamill addresses the “controversy” surrounding his decision to cast a hearing actor in the starring role in a film about Hamill’s life.

He expresses “shock” at the controversy and acknowledges that he understands the “segment of the deaf community” that is criticizing his decision. Yet, he remains firm in his decision to cast Eben Kostbar as the role of Hamill in the un-yet-made film.

Click here to read the UFC.com article.

Paotie’s Postscript: Great! It is too bad that the “controversy” caused audition cancellations for other deaf actors and actresses at RIT and Gallaudet. Regardless, Matt Hamill worked for his movie and is entitled to cast whomever he wants in it.

As lots of people have said (and join in if you like):

GO MATT GO!!

Be good .. or be good at it.

Paotie

Denver - Good evening, everybody! I became aware of the stupid controversy surrounding UFC fighter, Matt Hamill and his decision to hire a hearing actor as the lead role in a future film about Hamill’s life. And since I think the whole issue is a non-issue and that the only people making it an issue are those with plenty of issues, this “not Deaf enough film” fuss is simply stupid.

I am not kidding you!

HaHa!

Anyway, I wrote a letter to Matt Hamill:

Dear Matt Hamill ..

I write you today to show support for your decision to make your movie in whatever fashion you choose. You have somehow aligned the stars to achieve the success you have had thus far in your life – the results speak for themselves. Your upcoming film is one reflection of your many abilities.

You are one of my favorite fighters in the Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) scene and it is not because you are deaf – it is because you have a blue-collar work ethic that I appreciate. It should also be said that your dedication, sacrifice and belief in yourself are by far and away, the most impressive characteristics that I have seen in you as a fighter.

I recently read Sam Sheridan’s book, A Fighter’s Heart, and found his story to be fascinatingly interesting. Like Mr. Sheridan, your travels into the world of MMA are compelling reason enough for me to spend money to learn about your life or your MMA experiences or maybe even about the time you kicked Michael Bisping’s ass and caused him to drop down to a smaller class.

I have been a fan of MMA after first watching Royce Gracie bitch-slap dudes – and I am seriously not kidding you - that outweighed him by 1,500 pounds. Then, Ken Shamrock was my favorite fighter until Tito slapped him into retirement (well .. ya’know?). Today, I have many favorite fighters (Diego Sanchez, Rashad Evans, and Keith Jardine to name a few) such as yourself and it’s because I prefer to watch and support any fighter who actually fights – win or lose.

Whatever your movie is about, Mr. Hamill, I know it will be interesting to watch and money well-spent. In fact, I really wish there were more movies about UFC fighters such as yourself, the sport, and even the history of MMA in general.

And don’t mind those hecklers – every sport has them. There has always been and always will be those deaf hecklers who are forever unhappy with their lives and try to drag others down by forced conformity.

Anyway, the movie is about you – Matt Hamill – and not about anything or anyone else, right? What I mean to say is this: ignore those hecklers.

Good luck, Mr. Hamill - I support you and your decisions regarding your upcoming movie.

Good times! Great vibrations!

Keep on truckin’ ..

:o)

Paotie

Yup. That’s about it.

Ya’know the problem with “Deaf Experts” these days? Everything is about them.

Be good .. or be good at it.

Paotie

Denver - An alert reader of Paotie’s Green Couch has sent in a report that a children’s American Sign Language educational program has been nominated for an award at this year’s 35th annual Daytime Entertainment Emmy awards show in Hollywood. Rachel Coleman, star of the popular show, Signing Time, was nominated as an “Outstanding Performer in a Children’s Series,” according to the nydailynews.com web site.

Coleman, whose first daughter, Leah, was diagnosed as profoundly deaf at age 14-months, learned American Sign Language (ASL) to communicate with her daughter. Coleman would later decide to teach ASL to children and began producing Signing Time videos, which are available on CDs, DVDs, and through PBS stations.

A second child, Lucy, was born with cerebral palsy and a doctor warned Coleman that her child “was profoundly retarded and would never speak.” Then one day, Lucy signed the ASL word for more and “It was amazing that her first communication was in [ASL],” said Coleman. “Her next sign was ‘water,’ and though it wasn’t perfect, we knew what she wanted.”

Today, Lucy is in second grade, loves to sing and attends a mainstream school. Leah is now a fifth grader after skipping a grade, and recently won a spelling bee.

“If we had believed that doctor and not signed with her, she would have been locked in that body and not communicating. Now, she speaks beautifully.” - Rachel Coleman on Lucy

To read more about Rachel Coleman’s Emmy award nomination, her daughters and Signing Time, click here.

Paotie

Denver - Good afternoon, everybody! I hope you only came inside to check the Green Couch! You should be outside, enjoying the spring days, meeting new and interesting people. And above all, you should be avoiding those Deafhood perverts – they are now practicing Deaf Porn!

I am not kidding you!

I spent a little time rehashing the bits and pieces I’ve read of Paddy Ladd’s book, “Deafhood” – the guide to being “stupidly deaf” - and immediately regretted it. In fact, my reading of the first three paragraphs of the introduction compelled me to write Mr. Ladd a memo, which I have sent by pigeon-carrier.

Dear Mr. Ladd,

I read your book and please let me tell you - it has added a new level of confounding horror to scholarly research. If Eden were the hallowed halls of academia, you have encouraged masses of ignorant deaf idiots to swarm the air with thick, pea soup-like consistencies of stupidity that drown out all other forms of intelligent life.

Hell would be too kind a respite from the meandering and British blathering that you call a “book” about suicidally pornographic Deafhood priests and priestesses.

Sincerely,

Paotie

HaHa!

I’m just messin’ with all ya’ll. Can ya dig it; ya’know what I’m sayin’?

I had a good laugh this morning in reviewing some of the articles floating through DeafRead. One vlog, in particular, struck me as both funny and odd. And pornographic!

I love Deaf Porn!

A Deafhood wannabe-priestess offered her body earlier this week in an effort to prove her point. She wore a tight shirt and bounced around a lot. She also fidgeted like she was very uncomfortable, and at one point, I was concerned for her well-being because she seemed .. anxious or something.

But when she removed stuffed tissue from her bra to show membership in Deafhood’s, “Itty-Bitty-Titty Club,” I thought, Wow!

So I went to a restaurant and asked a few people what they thought. And since none of the people I talked to knew American Sign Language (ASL), and because the vlog lacked captioning or subtitles, I offered my own licencious and liberal interpretation, instead.

And it went something like this:

Paotie: Wow! What a boob!

Restaurant Eater #1: Wow! What a babe!

Eater #2: What’s wrong with her?

Paotie: I don’t know - meth addict, maybe?

Eater #2: Ha. Ha. That’s not what I meant. I mean, why is she not talking?

Eater #1: Is she deaf?

Paotie: Nope! She is not deaf! She is a “deaf Boob” - the capital letter, “B” signifies that she’s a Deafhood Boob, too.

Eater #2: Really? No way!

Paotie: Yup. Deafhood is all about the tits.

Eater #1: Wow! What a concept! Where do I sign up!?

Meanwhile, at another vlog, the official Deafhood Hand-Job Priestess was seen laying an egg of a comment. In other words, she had this to say about breast and cochlear implants:

I AM AN EXPERT ON MALE MASTURBATION!

HaHa!

Anyway, I have to go now - the BBQ starts in a little while, and I need to make sure the steak and chicken have been marinating properly. In the meantime, have a great and safe Saturday night!

I’ll see all ya’ll tomorrow.

Be good .. or be good at it.

Paotie