Colorado Springs – A reader of this blog sent me an email earlier today, along with a link to the men’s magazine, Details, and noticed some similarities between the article and one I wrote at the end of October. The Details article essentially said the same thing I did: it’s okay if First Wives are super sexy women.

I couldn’t help but do my own spider-crawling, searching links connected to the Details article, and then I found something interesting: I came across an article that suggested that men who oogle over hot women are really homosexuals in hiding. So, of course, I get to put in my two cents regarding certain idiots and their homosexual desires to make everyone else homosexual.

I have a gay friend who at times seems to try to convince everyone willing to listen that certain people’s behaviors, mannerisms, and even quirks were irrefutable proof that a person was a male knob slobber or a female carpet-muncher.

A typical conversation with him went along these lines:

“See that man there? Notice how his collar is slightly bent – he’s gay. See the way he looks around the room? Gay. Notice how the bulge in his pants shift slightly to the left sometimes? That means he’s a FAG.”

Of course, the fact I even address this issue will no doubt generate claims that I am homosexual because I happen to appreciate female physical beauty lots more than I do for men. My buddies and I don’t sit around my garage at night, proclaiming that, “I’d do Brad Pitt. Seriously, dude. I’d do him. He’s so fucking hot the way he looks when he’s pissed off.”

No, thank you. Us American boys still appreciate the pornographic graffiti that your mechanic once had plastered around the walls of a garage. We appreciate beauty when we see it. We especially admire those old men who somehow get the young chicas into their beds. Even my Republican friends still express penis envy when they talk about former President Bill Clinton’s promiscuous ways.

But, that’s digressing. This politically correct bullshit has gone too far. If a woman wants to walk by me in a restaurant and show me a little love (and a nipple), I’m not going to complain. I might have to fend off my girlfriend, but I won’t complain. (And if you’re breastfeeding in public, why don’t you just go ahead and wipe the shit off your baby’s ass – on the table in plain view of everybody in the restaurant – when the wait staff brings me my big, fat, juicy and moist steak.)

Sadly, people who try to psychoanalyze random strangers end up doing silly shit like this: “See how he wipes his mouth after eating? He’s anally-retentive because the TV told me. He is also a homosexual because Oprah mentioned something about men like him being enabled vajajays.”

So, if you’re offended because I happen to think Jeri Thompson is one hot woman – a FLILF – then you’re an idiot. You probably think Oprah is really a straight woman and that her husband, Steadman, is Oprah’s convenient fag hag – all because you hate Dr. Phil’s rude manners. (Dr. Phil’s wife, Robin, is pretty hot, too.)

Well, anyway, if you appreciate eye-candy like I do, then we can all go to Hooters and celebrate the age of a new era: hot women make great political candies. That and the fact that a future female President of the United States is currently employed at a Hooters near you.

Get with the times, or order us a pitcher of cheap beer, great chicken wings, and a hot, young Hooters’ chick with big, giant and buxom bewbies. You never know – she might be your ticket to the Oral Office.

Delightfully unrefined, yet tacky.

Be good .. or be good at it.

Paotie