Happy Halloween

Courtesy: http://flickr.com/photos/shutr/1808515877/Colorado Springs - It’s finally here: Sugar Rush for Kids. Halloween marks the annual rite of passage in which kids, gearing up for lives as future obese and beached whales, will pander to neighbors around the country in hopes for a quick and instant fix. Parents meanwhile, will be dreading the incessant tummy-aches that always seems to follow trick-or-treaters home.

Well, it’s not all bad news, you know? It is Halloween, a time for kids to be kids. Let them dress up and be their favorite super hero. Let them use their imagination and determine what Jack looked like as he climbed the famous and fictional greenstalk. Whatever we do, let’s allow children to enjoy being a child, free to explore the wonders of a holiday that rivals those found in Columbia where drug lords rain white powder during celebratory festivals.

So, have yourself a great and safe Halloween. And most of all, let Halloween be for kids.

Be good .. or be good at it.
:)
Paotie

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Posted at 11:15 PM under Daily Crumblings

The Greenwashing of America

Colorado Springs - I received a couple emails yesterday from a friend in New Mexico, pleading for people to protect the environment. I got the impression that my Deaf friend had suddenly understood the light that is clouded by pollution around the world. It was his newfound passion dripping through in his many emails about the environment and what’s being done (or not) to save our Earth that compelled me to write about greenwashing.

At first, I wanted to email my Deaf friend back and explain to him that not everything is what it seems. Ethanol, many Americans seem to think, is a cure-all to our country’s dependence on oil. That may seem logical to think, but what many people don’t understand is the fact that ethanol producers tend to grow corn, and of all the crops currently utilized for production of biofuels, corn generally encourages more pollution (think of all the fertilizer that farmers require; think of the water resources needed to grow corn; think of all the gas/diesel that tractors require; and all that to make what is essentially moonshine.)

I suspect my Deaf friend is somewhat late to the environmentalism aspect of our society, but people are slowly starting to understand the consequences of many corporations’ efforts at trying to promote “green” products/services or approaches that end up contributing to pollution - still. In Aspen, the environmental engineer there had this to say about the Aspen Ski Area’s attempt at being increasingly”green” in it’s marketing and operational focuses:

“Who are we kidding?” he says. Despite all his exertions, the resort’s greenhouse-gas emissions continue to creep up year after year. More vacationers mean larger lodgings burning more power. Warmer winters require tons of additional artificial snow, another energy drain. “I’ve succeeded in doing a lot of sexy projects yet utterly failed in what I set out to do,” he said. “How do you really green your company? It’s almost f—— impossible.”

Greenwashing

For many of us long involved in environmental and corporate issues, we’ve long known the hypocrisy of ethanol production in terms of environmental pollution. What many others in the general public, including my Deaf friend, seem to not be aware of is the term, “greenwash.” Greenwash is simply the marketing efforts of a corporation aimed at promoting allocation of significantly more money or time spent advertising being green (environmentally friendly), when in fact, the corporation acts in the opposite way.

In fact, one critic has stated that ethanol production will do more harm to the environment than good, and yet, many Americans jumped on the ethanol bandwagon without understanding the consequences of ethanol production. Corn farmers and other ethanol producers have been loudly proclaiming the biofuel as a healthy alternative to fossil fuels, such as oil and gasoline - in otherwords, they are engaging in greenwashing Americans into believing ethanol is the one of the better alternatives to fossil fuels.

Today’s modern corporation is focused on selling and marketing itself as an environmentally-friendly organization that consumers can buy products that they believe will help the environment. Sadly, the stark truth remains that few corporations exist that are completely green from top to bottom simply because of the nature of being in business (it’s virtually impossible to make a profit while protecting the environment completely). Greenwashing has prevented many Americans from understanding fully how and why renewable fuels are currently so difficult and expensive to produce, and yet many continue to jump on the ethanol bandwagon in misguided attempts at protecting our Earth.

Algae as a biofuel

I bet you didn’t even know that algae may be one of the better alternatives to both ethanol and fossil fuels. That’s right - algae. Studies demonstrating algae production reflect the fact that algae is far easier to grow than corn (for ethanol production) and without as much environmental waste and damage. Factories in Arizona and New Mexico are beginning to use algae to trap and consume carbon dioxide emissions from plants to create biofuels from algae.

So, why haven’t we heard more about algae? Well, probably because most of the special interest groups that exist and circulate around environmental issues are funded by ethanol producers (such as corn growers), as well as biofuel distributors. As algae is further refined, other alternative fuels may also become available without the high costs passed onto the environment.

The next time you see a corporation advertise itself as “eco-friendly,” or a “green” corporation, it may be worth your time to dig deeper to make sure that greenwashing isn’t taking place. Don’t be fooled by all those marketing gimmicks out there - for every action, there’s an equal and opposite reaction, especially in the environment.

If you really want to help preserve the environment, then it may include a greater understanding of the costs and consequences of many of the proposed alternatives to fossil fuels. I won’t be rushing to pump ethanol into my truck anytime soon, and instead, will eagerly await how the algae plants may help solve at least a portion of our energy problems here in the United States.

And by the way, you should know that in Brazil, they produce biofuels using sugar cane. Sounds good until you begin considering the rain forests have a new threat to their existence: alternative fuel producers (sugar cane growers). Imagine creating alternative fuels that promote poverty in Brazil - all in the name of greenwashing.

Finally, to my Deaf friend in New Mexico - you’re on the right track. Keep digging and learning as much as you can to be an informed and educated consumer. Don’t fall victim to greenwashing attempts by major corporations who pretend to be eco-friendly and add to the pollution of the world. We can save our Earth, but only through diligence, knowledge and an understanding that the drive to find renewable fuels that do not harm the Earth will be a long-term and on-going process.

Have a great Tuesday.
:)
Paotie

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Posted at 11:15 PM under Crumblings of Stuffs

Monday Morning Weirdness

Courtesy: http://flickr.com/photos/7846516@N04/532145056/Colorado Springs - I saw a murder yesterday and didn’t even realize it. I had been tinkering with my truck outside when I saw a group of black figures circling down the street from me. The visual noise in my brain gave me a series of squawks emanating from the group itself, and I flippantly waved them off with a greased hand.

Of course I didn’t call the police. If I had known it was a murder, then I would’ve reported it immediately, but it wasn’t a murder, really. It was just a murder of crows that I saw. The term itself isn’t so much a scientific description as it is a literary description, so you won’t see nerds standing in fields with binoculars stating to one another, “Ahh .. yes, I see the murder. Quite a nice murder, too. Healthy, strong numbers in the murder. And they made that stupid TV show, Murder, She Wrote, too. Oh look! I see another murder coming in from the south!”

Anyway, bad jokes aside, let’s get you started on a good week this Monday morning. So, where ever you are at work, you can give out odd facts and weird bits of news to keep the day moving along steadily. And if boredom strikes you, head for the nearest exit or window and try to find a murder if you can. If someone asks what you’re doing, just say, “I’m thinking about a murder.”

Or maybe you shouldn’t.

Anyway, this week’s Monday Morning Weirdness:

In Japan, groping is a national problem, so much so that Japanese women are flashing on their cell phones a popular program designed to ward off wandering hands in Japan’s congested commuter trains. “Anti-Groping Appli” by games developer Takahashi was released in late 2005 but has only recently climbed up popularity rankings, reaching No. 7 in this week’s top-10 cell phone applications list compiled by Web-based publisher Spicy Soft Corp.

The application flashes increasingly threatening messages in bold print on the phone’s screen to show to the offender: “Excuse me, did you just grope me?” “Groping is a crime,” and finally, “Shall we head to the police?” Users press an “Anger” icon in the program to progress to the next threat. A warning chime accompanies the messages.

  • Paotie’s PostScript: Bukkake ain’t no Sara Lee product, okay? The Japanese are simply weird.

At a BBQ in Tennessee, a man demonstrated the ultimate gluttony of hamburgers when he shoved 103 hamburgers down his throat in 8 minutes. No, it wasn’t your rude brother-in-law, who only appears when free food is served (a bit like me), that was in a hurry to get to the next all-you-can-eat BBQ at another relative’s house; it was Joey Chestnut, 23, who won the $10,000 Krystal Hamburger Eating Championship earlier this weekend. Each of the hamburgers were 2.5 inches square.

  • Paotie’s PostScript: An amazing feat unto itself. I can’t and won’t speculate about the aftermath of all that gluttony (what goes in must come out), but the curious thing about Chestnut is that he was “sidelined” from competitive engorging because of lingering jaw pain after having a wisdom tooth extracted in June. Good to see people come off the disabled list and perform their “A-games,”; that’s a lot of hamburgers, man - 103. I think I’ll skip Wendy’s for a while.

Producers of television soap operas and Spanish novellas would do well to listen to Englishwoman Elaine Morgan, who has a novel idea to explain her nakedness at the home of another man (read: not her husband). Mrs. Morgan apparently was visiting the home of Stephen Clarke and become quite worried about soiling her dress at Mr. Clarke’s abode, and innocently changed into nothing but a towel. Her husband, Anthony - 70 and quite the famous pub owner in town - walked in and discovered his wife frolicking around semi-nude.

Mr. Morgan then proceeded to bash the heads of both his wife and Mr. Clarke with a cricket stick and broke her nose. The couple who have been together for 21 years, have no hopes for reconciliation. Still, Mr. Morgan, who pleaded guilty to aggravated burglary and had his sentence of 9-months in jail suspended for a year, was commended by the judge who said:

“You clearly run a good pub. Everyone says so.”

  • Paotie’s PostScript: Is this a sign of the times: a “Jerry Springer” for geriatrics?

A man in Cedar Rapids, Iowa was arrested after a government agent allegedly found him in an office building restroom lying next to an inflatable, anatomically correct doll with his pants down. Craig S. McCullough, 47, was charged Wednesday with indecent exposure, a misdemeanor.

McCullough’s criminal record includes a 2004 conviction for burglarizing Just For Me bridal boutique. Shortly after the burglary, police officers found McCullough in a nearby alley, carrying a mannequin while wearing a bridal dress. The criminal complaint against McCullough says he was discovered in the public restroom by an agent for the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement Agency, which is one of the federal agencies that rents space in the Hach office building where McCullough was found.

  • Paotie’s PostScript: Uhhh .. you know, those rules against inter-office dating are there for a reason, right? Certainly, this was not a victimless crime after all - think about the embarrassment the doll (and all other dolls across the country) has to endure now! The inhumanity of it all ..

In Naples, Florida, a mother of a 13-year-old literally and figuratively found a way to prevent her daughter from having sex: she had her daughter’s genitalia pierced to make it uncomfortable for her to have sex. The 39-year-old mother, whose name is being withheld to protect her daughter’s identity, could have faced up to 30 years in prison if convicted of aggravated child abuse charges.

The girl, now 16, had testified that her mother asked a friend in 2004 to shave the girl’s head to make her unattractive to boys and later held her down for the piercing. A jury deliberated for about three hours before deciding the mother’s actions didn’t involve punishment or malicious intent, or cause permanent damage or disfigurement and acquitted the mother.

  • Paotie’s PostScript: Some parents are stupid. What’s next? Nipple-piercings with iron bars running horizontally from bewbie to bewbie to keep the boys “off-limits?” What about lesbians, man - they have rights, too!

So, there you have it - a bit of the weird and stupid thrown in together.

Whether you’re a brother
Or whether you’re a mother,
You’re stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive.
Feel the city breakin’
And ev’rybody shakin’
And we’re stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha,
Stayin’ alive.
Stayin’ alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha,
Stayin’ aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive.

*does the disco dance*

Sorry for digressing. I hope you have a fantastic week and the days at work pass by quickly for all of us. And watch out for them murder of crows - you never know what they’re really up to.

Be good .. or be good at it.
:)
Paotie

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John “JR” Houck: MMA Fighter and Rising Reporter

Courtesy: http://flickr.com/photos/bwpingu/277853763/Colorado Springs - In the world of mixed martial arts (MMA) reporting, few bloggers have been able to incorporate the personal experiences of the sport as well as John “JR” Houck, a reporter at HACnews.com. Houck, who was gearing up to enter the MMA amateur ranks until an injury sidelined him recently, uses his own experiences as a would-be-fighter in his interviews with many of the sport’s most popular fighters, from Kit Cope to Keith Jardine.

Houck, while rough around the edges, is a pup in the journalism/blogging world and still, his interviewing skills lead readers as if they were flies on a wall as the sport’s stars speak candidly. In an interview with Keith Jardine, Houck was able to get Jardine to call out Vin Diesel when Houck asked, “What Hollywood celebrity would you most like to put the beat down on?”

As many of you know by now, I’m an avid MMA fan and even though I rarely blog about the sport itself, I’m more content to enjoy watching the fights and read Houck’s interviews. His interviews are engaging with his subjects and paints the personalities of the fighters well. His reporting only solidifies my desire to remain firmly planted on my Green Couch during any MMA fights on satellite and leave the reporting to Houck and his colleagues at HACnews.com.

As the sport grows in depth and sophistication, so too will Houck’s already great interviewing skills, as well as HACnews.com. Be sure to read an underground fighter’s rise both in the ranks of fighters and in the blogging/journalistic field.

A sample of his latest interview:

JR recently caught up with WEC Lightweight champion “Razor” Rob McCullough. “Razor” Rob talks on numerous topics including his Muay Thai background, his thoughts on his fights with Kit Cope and Rich Crunkilton, thoughts on other fighters, fighting in the UFC … You can read more on his interview with McCullough at HACnews.com

Happy readings and see you tomorrow for Monday Morning Weirdness.
:)
Paotie

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Apple Launches Mac OS X Leopard Tonight

Courtesy: http://flickr.com/photos/trashman4130/302686813/Colorado Springs - I got word earlier this morning that Apple is releasing a new operating system (OS) for its Mac platforms, the Mac OS X Leopard. This new OS will contain new features for Mac users and should enhance the utility of the overall Mac systems.

We have two Macs and the old, crusty Windows XP computer that we use infrequently. In my career as an IT systems consultant, I’ve been asked which operating system I prefer: Windows or Mac. The short answer is this: I can’t imagine life without my Windows’ habits; and I can’t imagine life without my Macs.

The good news about the Leopard OS is the fact that it will also complement it’s Mac features with a partnering Windows platform, too. On both of my Macs, we have Windows installed (primarily Word, Excel and the basics), and even though the Windows applications on the Mac are nowhere near what you’d find on a genuine Windows-based computer, I still prefer Mac to Windows operating systems.

So, if you’ve got a Mac or are considering to buy one, check out the Mac OS Leopard X reviews from the Dallas News Business Section.

Have a great weekend.
:)
Paotie

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Friday Fun with Fonetics

Courtesy: http://flickr.com/photos/dmnaz1/1758748040/Colorado Springs - This week was an interesting week as we saw flames from people’s mouths and ears were spewed here on my blog and at many others. The southern California fires also grew in size and public awareness this week with little relief on the way. (You can see an eagle’s eye view of what firefighting is like.)

I found some quotes relating to self-happiness, accountability and the environment, and together with Monday’s Morning Weirdness, will make you an expert Trivial Pursuit player or at least, seem like a smartie pants when you need. As I leave you these quotes to ponder and marinate in your brain over the weekend, I hope you had a great week. And I hope you have a fantastic weekend, too.

I think by me doing my part for my children is changing the anger. I am not adding on to the other people’s anger. No one can take me out of being a victim unless I take myself out of being a victim. And no one will ever take me out of hatred unless I take myself out of it. I’m the ‘King’ of my own feelings. - Gertrude Sgentu, Cape Town

The ancient Romans had a tradition: whenever one of their engineers constructed an arch, as the capstone was hoisted into place, the engineer assumed accountability for his work in the most profound way possible: he stood under the arch. - Michael Armstrong

I think the environment should be put in the category of our national security. Defense of our resources is just as important as defense abroad. Otherwise what is there to defend? - Robert Redford

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. - Mark Twain

If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant: if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome. - Anne Bradstreet

Finally, I leave you with Mike McConnell’s, “Stupid Deaf People … ?” blog. Of course, his point was that we should laugh at ourselves at times, because we are human after all. As McConnell says, “stupid is as stupid does.” Be sure to check out the zingers that people on the blogosphere type when discussing, “Stupid Deaf People.”

Have a great weekend.

Be good .. or be good at it.
:)
Paotie

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Posted at 11:15 PM under Crumblings of Stuffs

The Dichotomy of Being Deaf

Courtesy:http://flickr.com/photos/s0ulsurfing/1745399904/Colorado Springs - I received another email last night from a friend, who also sent a link for me to check out regarding Deaf culture. As I read the article, I couldn’t help but notice a few things relating to how Deaf culture is defined.

Below is the definition of a Deaf culture given by the link sent to me:

Persons who belong in this “cultural” group use sign language as a common language and cultural bond based on what they describe as “their history of oppression.” They may, or may not, choose to use speech to communicate.

The lowercase “d” for “deaf” is a general term which encompasses many groups of people, most of whom who do not identify themselves as being part of the cultural Deaf community. People who are deaf are usually those with residual hearing and who communicate by using speech instead of sign language.

I think the definition of Deaf culture fits quite well within those two paragraphs. Let us recall that the anthropological and sociological models of a Deaf culture revolve around ASL and the rejection of the medical model of deafness being a disability. Let us state that a culturally Deaf person rejects the idea they have a disability, and believe instead, to have a birthright to being culturally Deaf on par with other ethnic and minority groups.

The interesting thing about the definition I gave you is the word “choose.” Culturally Deaf people choose to prefer ASL over other forms of communication. Clearly, many feel far more comfortable with ASL than English, but the importance of the concept of choice is key here: as it applies to accommodations, such as sign language interpreters, the definition of Deaf culture requires that the hearing world pony up (sometimes scarce) resources because some Deaf people choose to not communicate outside of ASL. And why not? We shouldn’t condemn a man for speaking his native tongue, right?

In the first place, an interpreter is a accommodation. It is part of the Americans with Disabilities Act. There is no sense denying that you have a medical condition that warrants the need of an accommodation, such as an interpreter. If you did not have a hearing loss, then you would not have needed to learn ASL in the first place; so to try and deny one’s hearing loss in medical terms is much like a black man pretending to be Asian in Switzerland.

And Deaf people require interpreters because they choose that form of accommodation towards other non-Deaf people. In other words, if a Deaf man with a dancing daughter chooses to utilize ASL initially and then places the burden of his own accommodation requirements onto the dance studio, then he is demanding the studio accommodate his choice to use ASL. When Roger Krebs’ was arrested, he choose to not utilize English for some reason or another, and instead, clammed up in a fit of willful Deafness.

The second paragraph of the definition relating to deaf and hard of hearing people is somewhat true. It is true many deaf/hard of hearing people (HOH) reject the idea they have to be disabled even though they have a hearing loss. Many deaf/HOH people also reject the idea they have a disability, although they tend to accept the medical models of deafness itself.

Also, some deaf or HOH people want nothing to do or be associated with Deaf culture, for fear of being associated with “Deaf and mute” that will reduce their chances of finding gainful employment; others may simply feel that they themselves are damaged goods or embarrassed about having a disability or hearing loss because they can’t keep up with their hearing peers. I suspect the majority of deaf/HOH people who are not considered to be culturally Deaf are either rejected by other Deaf people, or live in places where the Deaf community is quite exclusive to only those who are like themselves - Deaf, but not deaf.

The other interesting thing about the second paragraph of the Deaf culture definition I’ve given is the fact that it states deaf people have residual hearing and prefer to speak rather than sign in ASL. I don’t know about you, but most of my Deaf friends in New Mexico could always hear far better than I ever could, and yet this defies the definition of a culturally Deaf person in one regard: they are not entirely deaf based on the medical model, and yet, they still need interpreters. Most do not speak at all.

Clearly, Deaf people do have a choice in what form of communication they utilize. Ironically, many Deaf people are on governmental Social Security Disability benefits, and by a loose thread of logical reasoning, one could argue that a culturally Deaf person is not eligible for interpreter accommodations or even disability benefits simply because they choose to not accept the fact they have a disability.

And the absurdity of it all is in the fact that so many Deaf people maintain the view that the hearing world has to accommodate them because they were just so lucky to have been born Deaf; but I rarely see or hear them say they made the choice to be Deaf. It’s as if they won the lottery or something and anyone else not part of Deaf culture just hasn’t been fortunate enough to be like them - Deaf. Or if someone wants to be mean, they can accuse another Deaf person of not being Deaf enough.

It’s time to call for a redefining of the concept of determining who is or isn’t part of “Deaf Culture,” and include all types of people with hearing loss, whether it be Grandma who wears a Miracle Ear; or Mary Beth who has a CI; or John, the Deaf man who believes he was victimized by an oral monster; or David the oral deaf man who would like to join a deaf culture if only the Deaf people who hated him would stop hating themselves.

If that can’t happen, and the existing model of “Deaf culture” remains, then the next step is to start removing Deaf people from the rolls of Social Security Disability benefits. They will need to be removed because they choose to remain disabled in the eyes of the law, which is a fraud and a crime against millions of hearing and deaf/Deaf/HOH taxpayers.

They are a disgrace to all other people with hearing loss who are struggling to survive in this world. It is unfair to allow federal mooching of disability and other welfare programs by those who choose to be legally disabled and not culturally disabled. The intent of the ADA, you see .. was not to give Deaf people more choices in terms selective disabilities, but to “level” or “even” the playing field for all people with disabilities.

So, no more of the Deaf community having it’s cake and eating it, too. The time is here now: either redefine “Deaf Culture” to include all people with hearing losses, or accountability will create a new generation of Deaf self-repressed victims, unable to pull themselves above welfare programs by their bootstraps because they choose that for themselves.

My name is Paotie. I am an avid skateboarder/snowboarder/skier. I work on my 1977 RamCharger 4×4 occasionally because I find working on mechanical things fascinating. I know how to weld and love welding, too. I love to write (as you can probably tell). I am well-educated because I choose that for myself. I have a job that I love and am blessed to enjoy because it is not a job at the end of the day - it is something I love doing. I am a nice boy, too. I am a fan of MMA and especially Diego Sanchez. I am also an atheist. Above all, I am my parents’ son and my siblings’ brother.

I am also deaf. This, I choose.

By the way, the article and link emailed to me was about Deaf culture in Malaysia - thought you should know.
:)
Paotie

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Posted at 11:15 PM under Crumblings of Stuffs

At Last! Chuck Liddell vs Wanderlei Silva

Courtesy:http://flickr.com/photos/eme2/959084147/Colorado Springs - The fight most mixed martial arts (MMA) and Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC ) fans have been waiting for is finally here: Chuck Liddell will face Wanderlei Silva on Saturday, December 29, at the Mandalay Bay Events Center in Las Vegas. Dana White announced the upcoming UFC 79: Nemesis pay-per-view card last night on Spike’s 2007 Scream Awards telecast.

Said White:

Chuck and Wanderlei have both wanted this fight for as long as they can remember, and this is definitely the fight that fans have waited for years to see. Finally, PRIDE’s most dangerous striker will face the UFC’s most dangerous striker, and the world will know after years of speculation who will win and who will lose this fight.”

The fight will be part of the main event featuring current welterweight champion, Matt Serra against former champion, Matt Hughes. Serra rose through “The Ultimate Fighter” (TUF) show to defeat former champion, Georges St. Pierre for the title. Hughes lost his title to St. Pierre before Serra knocked him out and took the title.

You can go to the UFC web site for more information about UFC 79: Nemesis.

Paotie’s Postscript:

On tonight’s TUF show, expect Hughes to teach his team a lesson in pain. Behind in the fights, Hughes desperately tries to motivate his team to a victory. Controversy follows tonight’s fight, so be sure to watch the show or record it on your DVR if you have one.

Also: I’m waiting for the big meltdown that we saw in the early promos as the show kicked off. Since then, we haven’t seen anything other than bickering, but we all know there’s a big blow-out coming. Until then, tune in the TUF tonight and we’ll see what happens leading up to next week.
:)
Paotie

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Presidential Election Eye-Candy

Colorado Springs - I remember hearing many women profess a deep lust/love kind of feeling for then-President Bill Clinton when I was in college. In the years before Clinton swapped spit and other bodily functions with an intern, he was a sexy saxophone player that made women swoon. Of course, I couldn’t understand the attraction of a blue-haired man who was married to a woman who .. well, if it weren’t for her elephant ankles, I’d have thought she was decently attractive.

More to the point: what caught my eye this morning was the fact that a future First Lady might have a pierced tongue. That’s right - a pierced tongue. You’ll have to read on to find out which one of the potential future First Wives has a stud in her mouth. So, I decided to compile a brief list of the 2008 Presidential election candidates’ eye-candy of wives (note: this is entirely a subjective issue, and if you disagree with me, well .. there’s a magazine called, Playgirl for you to check out, instead) just for the sheer shallowness of it.

If the girls can have Manly Man Monday, then us guys can grunt and make obscene gestures to one another about politician’s wives. Here’s my list of 2008’s Presidential Wives eye-candy for you undecided about the Presidential election:

  • Jackie Dodd - Not exactly Maxim material, but at least she’s a contrast to some of Jackie Doddthe older politicians’ wives, most notably Barbara Bush. With the backdrop of Mrs. Bush in your mind, you can agree with me that Jackie may not be Jackie O., but she’s certainly a step up from Grandma “Wide-eyed” Bush.
  • Elizabeth Edwards - Edwards’ has fought a highly publicized battle with cancer since March of this year, and yet she vows to continue onwards with the task of electing Elizabeth Edwardsher husband, John as President. Elizabeth is more of the handsome variety than the type of eye-candy we’re looking for here. When you think of the requirements to make this list, think of construction/politician hybrids of men; Edwards hardly makes men weak at the knees. She made the list since she’s beautiful simply because she’s a wholesome type of woman - that and the fact I hope she beats her cancer into remission again.
  • Barbara Richardson - Well, she’s from my home state - enough said. I won’t reveal how I feel about her husband, Barbara RichardsonNew Mexico Governor Bill Richardson, but I felt just because I’m a native New Mexican that I’d include Barbara. Let’s just say the bottle of lotion shall remain under the sink when I’m thinking of Barbara Richardson, okay?
  • Barack Obama’s wife, Michelle is eye-candy. Michelle ObamaSvelte and sophisticated looking, very little encouragement is needed to set construction workers whistling to themselves with wanton abandonment. Politicians drool at her sophistication, so Michelle gets a definite vote of eye-candy for this list.

Republicans, unsurprisingly, had few trophy wives that radiated sex appeal. I don’t know if it’s because of all the conservative views they have towards most things relating to sex; or if the current generation of GOP haven’t quite gotten around to dumping their older wives for younger, hotter and sexier women.

Anyway, now to the short GOP list of eye-candy wives:

  • Cindy McCain is one hot grandmother! She is a GILF. Hot mamma! Well, she’s going to be eye-candy for a while but not forever, and if McCain should win the Cindy McCainPresidency, I have no doubt that the entire world will view Americans as blonde, dumb and hot. Maybe that’ll help efforts at establishing world peace?

Before you GOP people get your pants all bunched up and angry because you can’t pitch tents over the GOP’s short list, I have news for you: there’s a tie between a GOP and a Democrat in terms of eye-candy winners. And of course, I’ll finally tell you which woman has a pierced tongue, too.

  • Republican hopeful, Fred Thomspon is 148 years old, and yet his wife is 1/8th his age. Jeri Thompson makes hordes of men chant, “Jeri! Jeri! Jeri!” each time she attends a political function. Ironically, Walgreen’s reported oversexed malesJeri Thompson emptying shelves of lotion and baby oil whenever Jeri Thompson is mentioned anywhere within a one-mile radius. Jeri is hot, hot, hot. The classical, sophisticated woman who can somehow endure the geriatric grunting of a man old enough to have been friends with Pharaoh Ramses II is awe-inspiring. Still, she’s absolute eye-candy and an inspiration to all men over the age of 65 to dump their old Barbara Bush wives in favor of younger women like Jeri.
  • Finally .. she has red hair and she’s far younger than her husband like her GOP counterpart, Jeri Thompson. And she has the pierced tongue that has and will set millions of men around the world crazy in sexual angst if her husband wins. And she has long, wavy hair, too. Doesn’t wear much make-up, either. Definite eye-candy and has sex appeal oozing from every pore. Men in Hooters would pay her to sit at their table. Enough said.
  • But there can’t be a tie. There has to be a winner and President Dubya has proven to us all that nothing matters but winning. So, the winner of the hottest Presidential Election Eye-Candy wife is .. *drumroll* .. Elizabeth Kucinich. 1101004570_c52ee727a5_m.jpgHer husband, Dennis found Elizabeth in a mail-order bride catalogue and hopes to utilize her sex appeal and the pierced tongue to inspire millions of men (and lesbians) to become engaged in politics. Internship applications will no doubt rise as soon as Elizabeth is elected to her husband’s First Bed in the White House.

So, there you have it. It’s not exactly a compilation of “Who’s Hot and Who’s Not,” but rather, just one other thing for you men to consider out there whilst playing with your heads in trying to figure out who to vote for. In an age where anything goes, many politicians are seemingly dropping older wives for the younger, more contemporary and sexier women of today.

Just so you know, I had a hard time in deciding who was the winner between Jeri and Elizabeth and opted to go with the pierced tongue of Elizabeth Kucinich. I used to have one for years and know how life is with a pierced tongue.

Be good .. or be good at it.
:)
Paotie

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Posted at 11:15 PM under Crumblings of Stuffs

Deaf Follies

sdp.jpgColorado Springs - I got yet another email from a friend who sent me links relating to deafness that I found to be interesting and downright absurdly stupid. If there’s a moral to this article, it’s this: people are stupid.

First, from Scotland comes word that an 82-year-old man - who is blind in one eye and deaf - was clocked speeding on one of Scotland’s most dangerous roads. Maurice Hollyfield told a court he wasn’t paying attention because he had his stereo turned up loud so he could hear the music.

Hollyfield, whose left eye is made of glass, was clocked at 88 MPH by a speed camera on the A9 at Waterloo between Perth and Dunkeld. He should only have been doing 50 MPH. He apparently mistook the RPM gauge for the speedometer itself.

David Holmes, defending Hollyfield, told Perth Sheriff Court yesterday:

“He said the reason for his driving was that he was listening to loud music because of his deafness. It was a new car and the instrument panel was very different. He kept glancing at what he thought was the speedometer, but it wasn’t.”

Hollyfield, a retired engineer from Milton Keynes, Buckinghamshire, admitted speeding on the notorious road on April 4 and now faces banishment from Scottish roads.

Paotie’s Postscript: No word yet on whether Hollyfield actually utilizes the Braille found on drive-through ATM machines. And, stay the hell away from Scottish roads, too.

Now, for the stupidly stupid: a deaf man in Denver is suing correctional authorities because he stupidly pleaded guilty while in jail - and now blames the lack of an interpreter for his plea. A lawsuit was filed on behalf of Debbie Ulibarri, the estate of Shawn Vigil, Roger Krebs, the Colorado Association of the Deaf and the Colorado Cross Disability Coalition claiming discrimination against deaf people in Denver jails due to a lack of interpreters provided.

Paotie’s Postscript: In the first place, if you’re a 55-year-old man like Roger Krebs, you should know better than to get into a fisticuffs fight at a Greyhound station. A man Krebs’ age ought to know at the very least how the criminal justice system works. Apparently, Krebs was in a hurry to get to his place of destination and pleaded guilty anyway.

Krebs claims that because he wasn’t given an interpreter, he was discriminated against. He might have a point; however, because of his stupidity, he wants to blame the lack of interpreters for his own moral ineptitude. If Krebs really wanted to get home so badly, then he would not have gotten into a fight at the bus station. Instead, he fought, got arrested, and in a moment of sheer stupidity, pleaded guilty. And now he wants his plea removed because he wasn’t given an interpreter.

If a defendant were allowed to escape legal responsibility for his acts, merely by saying “I didn’t know it was wrong/illegal”, the system of using law to regulate human conduct would collapse.

Ladies and gentlemen: Krebs’ is the winner of the first monthly Stupid Idiot of the Month award. You don’t get arrested for fighting if you’re 55. You don’t go to jail and act stupidly ignorant and then plead guilty to a crime you committed if you’re really not guilty. And you especially don’t go to jail and act like a retarded idiot - completely incapable of communicating without ASL or an interpreter. Well, maybe I’m looking at this all wrong: perhaps the man is in the process of his Deafhood.

Stupid. I hope he stays in jail and I hope this serves as a lesson to many Deaf people: simply because you’re Deaf and need an interpreter does not give you free reign to act stupidly. If you don’t know your rights, then it’s your own damn fault - interpreter or no interpreter. You don’t get arrested and plead guilty and then later retract it and blame an interpreter for your inability to understand how the legal system works.

Willful blindness is a term used in law to describe a situation in which an individual seeks to avoid civil or criminal liability for a wrongful act by intentionally putting himself in a position where he will be unaware of facts which would render him liable.

So, next time you’re in Scotland, stay away from them old, blind and deaf drivers. And if you happen to be arrested for fighting when you’re near the senior citizen discount age, then you’re simply an idiot. But if you plead guilty and try to take it back, you’re an even bigger stupid idiot - especially if you claim ignorance.

Stupid.

Be good .. or be good at it.
:)
Paotie

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Posted at 11:15 PM under Daily Crumblings